In my last post, I talked about the gifts we exchanged for our anniversary, but I neglected to talk about the celebration itself. We didn’t do anything elaborate, just a nice bottle of champagne at home, then dinner at a nice Italian restaurant we wanted to try, and then we stopped by Papa Haydn’s (VERY popular Portland restaurant for decadent desserts) and got a couple pieces of cake to go, which we demolished along with the rest of the champagne when we got home.
The restaurant we went to was Mucca Osteria, and I have no beauty shots of the meal, because we were too excited to eat our food to take time to photograph it. But it was delicious – we shared a fresh burrata and heirloom tomato caprese salad, then we each had the seared sea scallops appetizer with truffle parmesan fondue, and then Ron had the steak with pancetta kale and green beans, and I had the wild boar ragu pasta. We knew we wanted to go to Papa Haydn’s for cake, so we didn’t order dessert, but when the server realized it was our anniversary, he brought us a complimentary glass of a grappa type dessert wine to share and two little biscotti to dip in it. The portions were perfect and the pacing of the meal was leisurely enough to keep us from eating before we knew we were full. We left completely satisfied but not stuffed – in other words, it was lagom ; ).
But the best part? We had the satisfaction of knowing we could completely afford it, so every bite was guilt free (well, maybe not calorically, but let’s not even get into that). We did not have to go into debt for it, and that made it all the more delicious. The restaurant was not outrageously expensive – I think we spent about $100 before tip (which included all the food mentioned above plus a glass of wine each), and then I think the cake (which is kind of ridiculously expensive) came to about $18. Totally within what we had budgeted for the evening.
This is also the first month since we’ve gotten out of debt where we have actually felt the difference. If you’ve been reading for a while, you know that in both June and July we still had some big enough expenses that we were having to come up with close to what we had been paying monthly on our credit cards, but this month we were finally able to breathe a little. And so breathe we did.
And let me tell you, it felt gooooooood.
We forgot to take any anniversary pics this year, so here is our wedding day nine years ago – newly husband and wife. Newly in wedding debt.
We spent some of yesterday taking down the Christmas tree and putting all the holiday decorations away. I love decorating and being festive and in the Christmas spirit, but I am also always relieved to have my normal house back, and to not be vacuuming up stray pine needles all the time.
I started my lagom project after Christmas of 2012 (on Jan. 11th, 2013 to be precise), so as we pulled out all the decorations this year, I realized that I hadn’t done any paring down where that stuff was concerned. We don’t have a ton of decorations to start with, and the majority of the stuff we do have were either gifts we’ve received or things from my childhood – I’ve personally bought very little Christmas decor over the years. The good news about that is there isn’t a tremendous amount of stuff on which to make decisions. The bad news is that there IS a tremendous amount of sentimentality attached to it all for me.
One thing I knew we needed to declutter was Christmas tree ornaments. Lord those things are easy to collect! The first gift I ever gave Ron was two Christmas tree ornaments, because we met each other in person for the first time a couple days before Christmas Eve, so we had planned to decorate my Christmas tree together. That started a tradition between us of giving each other a new ornament every year on the day we decorated our tree. We’ve been together for eleven Christmases now, so that is a substantial amount of ornaments to add to our collection – though we have forgone the tradition a couple times because either one of us forgot, or we were broke. Here is one of the first ornaments I gave him (the biker), and the one he gave me the Christmas after we got married, along with one I gave him to commemorate his love of Stella:
My mom has given me and my sister a new ornament every year on our “Santa” gifts – usually one that matches the theme of the paper she chose that year. She now does ornaments for Ron and my sister’s boyfriend as well, so we come home from her house with two new ornaments every year. Here is a trumpet from a year the paper she wrapped the gifts in had a musical instruments and angels theme:
I also have a bunch of ornaments that my aunt gave me when she had a business that sold holiday stuff – I remember going to her house one summer and she gave me and my sister each a big beach bag full of ornaments – here are just two of them:
At one point my Mom decided she wanted to decorate her tree every year in only blue and white and silver decorations, so she let me and my sister have any of the traditional ornaments from our childhood that we wanted. I took this Santa, that a friend gave my Mom back in the 60’s, I think it was before she even knew my dad. When it was time to decorate the tree every year, I always wanted to be the one to hang it up:
And out of pure sentiment, I kept these ornaments I made in Bluebirds when I was little:
I also at some point inherited my grandmother’s collection of wooden stars – I don’t really remember hanging them on our tree growing up, but they totally make me think of her, so I love them:
And then there are ornaments we got as gifts from friends, like this little felt angel my friend Nikki gave me:
Or these Czech dough ornaments from our friends Petr and Simona, which Stella tried to pull off the tree and EAT this year:
Of the few ornaments I’ve actually bought, the birds are my favorites. I think Ron thinks they’re creepy, but I love them. It’s a TREE, for heaven’s sake. It needs birds:
And I have no memory where I got this one, but it’s candy, and it’s pink, so…lovelovelove:
But in the end, no tree that will fit in our living room can handle the amount of ornaments we own, so a lot weren’t maing it out of the storage box. I decided that this year, we would hang our favorites first, and anything that wasn’t an automatic yes would be under scrutiny.
It ended up being easier than I thought. I’m getting the hang of being less attached to stuff at this point, and I no longer feel that throwing an object away is the same as throwing away a relationship or my memories of a person or event. I put everything that didn’t make the cut in a bag, and let it sit in the corner until New Year’s Eve, when I suddenly remembered it was the last day to make Goodwill donations for 2013, so I grabbed the bag along with our other donations and got rid of it all before I could become sentimental and change my mind. I also got rid of it before I had a chance to photograph it, so you’ll have to take my word for it that we got rid of quite a few. I can’t remember specifically which ornaments they were at this point, which is a good sign – if I can’t recall them, they were not my favorites.
When we packed all the ornaments back up this year, it was nice to not be cramming them all in – everything fit comfortably, with room to spare. It’s nice to think that when we open the box again next year, we will only be greeted by our favorite stuff.
My best friend Lori’s birthday was the 16th, and I was trying to find the perfect gift for her this year – I’ve given her a lot of gift certificates lately, which are great, but if I can ever think of something more specific, I like to do that instead. Lori writes the awesome blog Once Upon A Product, where she tells stories of life, love, and makeup (I did a guest post for her that you can check out here). So I immediately thought of her when I heard about Birchbox, which is a company that sends you cool makeup and grooming samples every month. You fill out an online profile with your skin/hair preferences, and then for $10 a month, you enjoy the surprise of getting a box full of samples on your doorstep. It sounded right up her alley.
I decided to test drive it first, just to see what kind of stuff they sent. You can cancel at any time, so I figured if it was lousy, I was only out $10. My first box arrived in September, and I really liked the things they sent me! And that bright pink box showing up on a gloomy day was instant cheer. Look:
The actual Birchbox is inside:
And the REAL goodies are inside that:
This month’s stash: Juicy Couture perfume, Ojon Finishing Spray, Lancome Hypnose mascara, and Dr. Jart’s BB Cream
Sometimes they’ll even send you a full-size item, or special “lifestyle” items, like candy, teas, energy bars, and other new treats to try.
The first box passed inspection, but I wanted to see a couple more, just to make sure they were consistently good.
It is now February, and I have received a total of six boxes. All of them have been great, and I’ve used up several of the samples. I showed one of the boxes to Lori, and she loved it. Perfect! I combined resources with my other besties Julie and Kristen, and we gifted Lori with a subscription.
Which means I can stop my subscription, right? Because I was only test driving it for Lori, and mission accomplished, right? Because I’m broke and already have more beauty products than I can handle, right?
Uh…right.
I have to tell you, I am so bummed to cancel my subscription. Yes, it makes sense to cancel it. But I don’t want to do it. Because in the midst of this stuff diet, that Birchbox showing up has been like my shopping methadone clinic. It automatically gets charged to my credit card, so I feel like I haven’t actually shopped, but I still get my new stuff high. And I LIKE my new stuff high. The thought of losing it makes me anxious and sad.
But today, I canceled it. Ten dollars a month may not seem like a lot of money, but in the course of a year, it’s $120 spent on things I don’t need – in fact, it’s specifically being spent on things I have vowed to stop buying because I already own too much of them. I understand the purpose it was serving in my addiction, and I suppose it’s better than buying a $200 pair of shoes to get my fix, but ultimately, the compulsive behavior is exactly the same, and I can’t keep indulging that.
It helps to remember that I tried Birchbox because I wanted to do something nice for Lori – who is such an outstanding friend. She makes me feel better about myself than a box of makeup ever could. She knows all my flaws, and I have never once felt any judgement from her – just love and acceptance. I don’t need a Birchbox. I have her friendship, and that is lagom.
Lo & Me, NYE’s 2012
finding lagom 