Something really weird has happened.
With virtually no effort on my part, my desk is, for the most part, clean. Am I happy? Absolutely! But I am also really, really confused, because as of about a week ago it was a “close the door if company comes over” level mess, and somehow, without a devoted cleaning session, it’s totally presentable. Look:
I don’t even have a before picture to show you for comparison, because I didn’t set out to make it happen. And I realize it’s not perfect – the inbox is quite full and needs to be sorted, and there is a lot of junk on the windowsill. If you were to open the drawers, you would find a MESS – though important to note, the surface didn’t get cleaner because I shoved all the crap into the drawers. The drawers are, and have been for a few years now, too full of crap to get anything else in them. But for the most part, it’s really kind of tidy, right?
I can’t figure out how it happened. Am I just bringing less stuff into my life, so there is less stuff to pile up on my desk? (Maybe). Do I suddenly have less projects to work on, so I have less project-related stuff to organize? (Possibly, though it doesn’t feel like it). Am I somehow, without conscious effort, organizing things better? (God, I hope so!)
However it happened, I must say, it feels AWESOME. Typically, sitting at my desk stresses me out – all the mail and bills waiting to be dealt with, projects that need attention, receipts waiting to be filed, receipts for items I’m considering returning, half-buried trinkets and tchotchkes, seven hundred pens (about half of which work), stray business cards, to-do lists, ipod/iphone charging cords, bobby pins, lip balms, change from the bottom of my purse, multiple empty water glasses, office supplies, sunglasses, pages from scripts, unmatched gloves, and paper, paper, paper. It’s physical clutter that translates to mental clutter, ultimately resulting in a sort of brain lockjaw – where I find it tough to make decisions or start work for the day, and end up spending a lot of time shuffling and rearranging my stuff, or just straight up procrastinating. If I need to work on a project that requires any kind of space to work in, I typically take it over to Ron’s desk, which is almost always clean.
I may not understand how it got this way, but I am going to enjoy it, and do my best to preserve it. Of course, as I mentioned, the drawers still need a ton of work, and I wouldn’t mind reducing the trinket clutter on the surface a little more. And when I swivel around in my chair and look at the opposite wall, I am faced with overflowing bulletin boards, a credenza jammed with photo albums, mail, and bills, and a bunch of other stuff. So it ain’t perfect – yet.
But for now, even if it was unconscious, I’m going to let myself feel like I have accomplished something, because I need that right now. Small victories, people, small victories!