I’m currently in the middle of a three day commercial shoot.  It is typical on commercial shoots that the wardrobe people will ask you to “bring in some options” of clothing, shoes, jewelry, etc., from your own wardrobe, which they combine with items they’ve brought for you as well.  For years, after leaving my corporate job, I kept TONS of suits and blazers and button down blouses that I didn’t wear anymore in my daily life, thinking they “might come in handy” if I needed to bring in options for a shoot.  About a year ago, I got sick of trying to store it all and narrowed it down to a small but useful business/business casual collection, keeping only my best stuff.

Then, a couple months ago, I brought my “best” business options to a fitting, and the wardrobe person opted not to use any of them, saying they weren’t quite fashionable enough.  I was a little dismayed to hear my stuff was already outdated, but kind of thrilled at the same time that it had been a long time since I’d had to purchase that kind of clothing because I no longer had a job where I needed to dress like that.

When I edited down my purse collection last week, I hesitated to get rid of one cream-colored leather bag in particular, because I had recently used it in a play as a prop purse, and it occurred to me that it might come in handy for another show.  I had bought it while I was at my corporate job, so I’d had it while, but I still thought it could be useful for…something.  I deliberated over it for a ridiculous amount of time, and then finally decided to put it in the Goodwill pile.

Then, last night, I got an email from the wardrobe person for the shoot I’m working on right now asking me if I had any purse options I could bring in – preferably something brown or light colored.  I immediately thought of the bag I had just discarded.  Here I was, thinking it would maybe come in handy for a play, but it had never occurred to me to put it in with my commercial options.  What was I thinking getting rid of it?  It was still useful!  Here I was needing it – and I had almost given it away!  I would have TOTALLY regretted it!  I needed it.  I NEEDED IT!  I ran down to the basement and dug it out of the Goodwill pile.

Cut to this morning, when I proudly showed my cream-colored bag to the wardrobe person, and she immediately rejected it.  She instead gave me a cute brown leather satchel that she had brought.   I decided to take that as a sign.  When I got home, I returned the cream-colored bag to the Goodwill pile.

I won’t lie – part of me wants to dig it out again.  I can’t help but think I might need it.  But I also need to stop acting like I’m an actress/costume shop.  Commercial shoots and plays have budgets to buy costumes and props – if I happen to have something that works that I can lend, great.  But if I don’t, I shouldn’t feel bad about it.  I’m pretty sure the casting people have never looked at me and thought, “Hmmm…I’ll bet she has a TON of wardrobe options at home – she’s hired!”  At least, I hope they don’t think that.  Because as I move towards finding my lagom, I think my “options” will become the bare minimum.

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I’m bagging it. For good, this time.

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